Wednesday, May 11, 2011

I once had a Hoover, but never thought I would own a RED DEVIL!

You buy your first vacuum.  The thing literally sucks.  But thats a good thing.  Its a Hoover, Bissell, Dyson, Black & Decker.  Then one day you become the owner of a Red Devil.  The Red Devil has tremendous cleaning power.  Anything that comes near its wide-cleaning path is subject to the tordadic forces that are created by the will power of the machine.  The container that stores the unfortunate is followed only by the bag that must be changed on a regular basis due to its lack of storage.  The red glow of this Red Devil is only shadowed by the Red Devil that preceded it.  Metaphor over?  Let me start from the first day that the original Red Devil was taken out of its package and released upon the world.

I knew that the first Red Devil, DR1, was a keeper after first use.  For a trial run, I took RD1 to Slattery's Restaurant in Fitchburg.  The table was covered with all sorts of mischief for a new relationship.  My new Red Devil was up to the task.  First to go into the cyclone was the appetizer.  This was followed by the salad, and ultimately the chicken dish.  Apparently, behest to me, the RD1 is also a wet-dry vac.  I found that the RD1 is adept at cleaning the table of all margaritas that are left in the open.  Once the RD1 had cleaned the area in front of it of all refuse, it moved to what remained in my area.  It was only after this efficiency that I realized that the RD1 was for me.  I have enjoyed many years since of the cleaning power of the RD1.

However, I am now the owner of the Red Devil 2.  Though smaller than the industrial version, with a smaller cleaning path and less storage capacity, it is still a machine of the utmost efficiency.  Let me give you examples.

Last night I prepared a serving of homemade pop corn.  I love homemade pop corn, it is so much better than the bagged stuff.  I was looking forward to enjoying the delicious treat whilst sitting on the couch enjoying some boob tube and a freshly poured beer from my awesome homemade keg-a-rator.  As I sat on the couch and nestled in, I noticed a small disturbance in my pop corn.  Low and behold, it was an extension from the new RD2!  I didnt know this unit was an automatic!  I didnt have to aim the RD2 at the pop corn, it just assumed that the mess needed to be cleaned!  And clean it did.  The RD2 managed to remove the majority of the pop corn from the bowl before I could turn off the power.  But that was last night.

Tonight I have experimented by placing in front of the RD2 several items for dismissal.  There are chicken tenders, tomato slices, pickle slices, red pepper, and fried green beans.  So far the RD2 has managed to remove all reminants of supplied materials and is in search mode for more.  This model is also has the wet-dry vac function.  Three sippy cups of milk have met their demise.  I am truly amused by the power this little sucker displays.

I can only imagine what the impact of both units functioning in unison in the future will result, but I remain amused and enchanted.

God Bless Gingers

Monday, April 25, 2011

Hiatus (hahy-ey-tuhs)

Hiatus (hahy-ey-tuhs)
noun, plural
1. A break or interruption in continuity of a work, series, action, etc...
2. A missing part; gap or lacuna
3. What happens between your initial blog entry to make fun of your wife and when you realize that you are supposed to continue the blog that you started.

So as I noticed the list of followers to my blog increasing, I decided that I should update this masterpiece on a more frequent basis.  So be prepared, as soon you will all be......


God Bless Gingers

PS: I am basing the names for my ales and brews on the Ginger theme, so if you have any gingerish names that you find comical, please pass them on.  Much obliged.

Sunday, April 10, 2011

Make ready the sails...

I was unaware when I started my new hobby yesterday that I would have to rally the troops.  But alas, the inevitable is coming.  Set the sails, prepare arms, batten down the hatches, we're going to war...  But going to war with a ginger is a tricky and delicate thing.  They can be subtle, yet effective.  You have to be on your game.

On a side note: That All-State Mayhem commercial just came on, the one where he is the GPS in a guys car, and makes him crash... That is officially my favorite commercial!

Ok, where was I?  Today I was pleasantly surprised to wake up on the couch with a ginger in my face tapping me.  I sleep on the couch when I get home from work at 4am, so I dont rustle the natives.  I went up to bed for a couple more hours sleep, and when I awoke, a new ginger was there.  But she came bearing two gifts: a large snickers ice coffee from Gourmet Donuts (where they melt the sugar first with hot chocolate, like that helps my love handles), and the shades up to 'let in the sun and fresh air'.  But I see through the ruse.  I have experience.  The ice coffee was to tame my awakening annoyance.  The 'sun and fresh air' were a devious and subtle way to say 'get the hell out of bed and get some work done'.  She's got skills, I have to say that.  And what is it with gingers?  Seems they always know just what to do to stay one step ahead of you.  They are like cats ready to pounce.  They wait for the right moment, just when you first notice, but dont have time to react.

Ooooh, the Extreme Laser Comb for men, from the Hair Club for Men.  It strengthens the hair you already have.  Not that I would need to.  It shoots a laser spread at your decaying scalp to stimulate hair growth.  And people think cell phones cause cancer!  Oooh could it be a mind control device that aliens are putting into action to start the invasion?  Like the TV?  Lets make a bunch of alien films and shows so that when we come they arent surprise to see us as lizards in big ships..

And I digress.... keep your eye on the enemy!

So today she has me making garden boxes.  She makes her own detergent, her own secret recipes, her own candied treats, her own gingers.  I make beer, and whatever she needs to make her stuff with.  Now we start gardening.  I think we are working our way into becoming recluses.

Let you know soon....

God Bless Gingers

Saturday, April 09, 2011

Im the new guy

Soo, the wife has a blog.  And she uses that blog to post anything and everything that she has created, thought, seen, scoffed at.  So I decided that I should air my side of our life.  I dont usually take part in fluffy and wordy exchanges like these, but I decided what the hell, time to reflect.  And to think my professor from my last class said I had issues reflecting!  Now please keep in mind, I teach science, not english.  My english is wicked much gooder than it used to be.

Sooo, what now.  Do I talk about what Im doing at this moment?  Do I talk about last night?  Do I put on pics of my latest creation at the house?  I dont make detergant.  I dont make fluffy bunnies with chocolate and marshmallow.  I just use it, eat them.  Thats wifey's domain.  I have to leave for work in an hour, so I think Im going to nap.

Ill post something worthy of your short time this weekend.

Thanks for bearing with me....

God Bless Gingers